Eyes on the Horizon

I was on my way to work tonight and I started to think about what I would change if I could go back in time to when I was a kid with the same knowledge I have right now. My young mind would be at first overwhelmed by the life experiences of 25 years, but would gradually adapt and apply the knowledge to try to make my life better. I concentrate harder on school, especially math. Knowing now that I personally learn best through competitive scenarios, I may try to go to a public school so that I can do my best to learn faster than the other students. Once I’m in high school I take community college classes concurrently to position myself to get into a major university. I am also doing self-taught learning to give myself an extra advantage over everyone else. By my current age of 25 I am nearing completion of my master’s degree in Computer Engineering. The only thing that was really different growing up this time was my self-confidence to accomplish my goals. I no longer think that I’m not smart enough to be one of the best in my profession. I know that I can do whatever I want. I thought to myself, I wish I could go back and live my life differently.

It was at this point I stopped myself. I realized that while knowing what I know now I may make different choices, I would not have come to a place where I could make those choices without my current life experiences. I wouldn’t have the same amount of appreciation of overcoming and determination. I wouldn’t have gone through the circumstances that made myself the over confident and conceited individual I am today J. All in all I have had a good life. I may not have a master’s degree, but I’ve still managed to position myself well in life by giving 100% to everything I do. I have a great job, I don’t have any school debt, and I was able to save enough to make a significant down payment on my new house. There really isn’t any reason to wish that anything had gone differently. I realized that it is not only pointless to think about what could have gone differently in the past, it is unhealthy. How am I supposed to move forward with my eyes on the past? It’s impossible to do without consequences. Instead of trying to think of how I could improve my past, I can focus on improving myself now, and my future. I look into the future and all I see is possibilities. I can be anything I want if I have the determination to make it happen, and I believe that I do. What type of profession do I think that will be? Well, I’m still trying to decide what I want to be “when I grow up”, but what I mostly want to be is someone that is constantly moving. Constantly expanding himself. I only live once, and I want to experience everything that I possibly can. I want to get a degree for sure. But I also want to write novels. I want to go on adventures. I want to see the world. I want to live life. There is no reason to focus on the past when there can be so much in my future.